I love the idea of making a live-action film out of Aeon Flux, but as adaptations of comic book/cartoon characters go, she’s gotta be the toughest to pull off. Her body and costume are outright violations of the laws of Physics, as is the future world in which she slinks stealthily about. Her fans (me included) are rabid purists and will not accept a dumbed down version of the surreal battle for the future of humankind that she champions largely single-handedly. This adds up to force me to label any Hollywood-made, live-action Aeon Flux doomed to be a failure with fans.

Now the really important part: Who is right to play Aeon Flux? If you answered Charlize Theron you would be wrong, but the filmmakers chose her anyway. First of all, the actress has gotta be skinny as hell, and willing to dress like a total dominatrix slut the entire movie. Though she is quite athletic and dramatically versatile, Charlize Theron just does not fit. The differeces may be subtle but a natural blonde with a thick trunk and a flat chest is a far cry from the appropriate body type. Also: The outfit that the press photos show her in are about as sexy as one piece bathing suit from 1910. I hereby submit a list of naturally brunette beauties that the filmmakers were crazy not to exhaust before even considering Theron:

• Carrie-Anne Moss
• Mia Kirshner
• Milla Jovovich
• Kate Beckinsale
• Lara Flynn Boyle
• Selma Blair
• Mia Kirshner
• Rachel Weisz
• Famke Janssen
• Gina Gershon
• and Mia Kirshner

Even Rebecca Romijn, Uma Thurman or Cameron Diaz would be better choices. Hell, even Lucy Liu could pull it off, lord knows she’s shown enough skin!